The wrong way to celebrate  St. Patrick's Day

"Bryan doesn't drive a 1M" (bryantakespictures) 03/17/2015 at 11:42 • Filed to: Bagels

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$kaycog > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 03/17/2015 at 11:44

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Eeew! They really look gross.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 03/17/2015 at 11:46

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Pistachio?

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > $kaycog 03/17/2015 at 11:46

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Yeah, I wasn't brave enough to enjoy one, but they disappeared pretty quickly.

dogisbadob > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 03/17/2015 at 11:47

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pistachio bagels!

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 03/17/2015 at 11:47

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MrDakka > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 03/17/2015 at 12:03

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I have some pond scum flavored bagels to sell you...

PNW Hoon > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 03/17/2015 at 12:09

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Eating one of those right now.

When they said Irish breakfast on the meeting invite, I was really hoping for some eggs and hash or something. But a guy's gotta eat.

Manic Otti > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 03/17/2015 at 12:16

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Egads! Einstein (or whoever this is), you have gone too far!

Flat Six > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 03/17/2015 at 12:23

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For some reason I think these guys would like those bagels :)

McMike > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 03/17/2015 at 12:53

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(Ex bagel bakery owner here)

You would be shocked what people would eat, but I was grateful they would.

I used to make a small batch at a time for the month leading up to the 17th, and only bake 6-12 a day. I would just leave them in a basket for all customers to see and to ask about. Sometimes I would ask if they wanted one, sometimes I would just throw one in extra on a large order for them to find later.. No one ordered them (except for 7-10 y/o boys), but most turned their nose up. "Ewwww"

However, whenever the 17th came.... It was the biggest concentration of orders any of our stores saw every year. Even from the time I went home on the 16th (usually late), orders for at least 20-25 dozen more would be taken that night to add to the the 100 or so dozen we already had. Trying to anticipate how much we would need to mix and form the day before with very little waste (or keeping people late) was usually a very difficult task.

My goal was to run out about mid-day, or throw out a few dozen at the end of the night. Seeing how you're baking over 2,000 of them, that was definitely a victory.

Before even opening, I would bake probably 1500 green bagels and bag up all the orders before we opened just to be safe, and have some available for walk-in customers.

Without bagging everything up ahead of time, you were always in fear that you would sell out before you could bag all the orders. Besides, it's hard to tell someone who is watching a 6 dozen batch some out the oven every two minutes that could not buy them.

What else did we do green? Anything we could get away with.

Frosting. We frosted brownies, danishes, cake. Jesus, the cake. We sold it by the slice, and whole (if we had one) Every year, someone would buy the cake right off the counter in the first hour.

Cream cheese, too. Probably sold 15-20lbs that morning. (30-40 8oz cups) They would eat anything green.

Except for eggs and butter. I tried that a few years and no one wanted that shit. Not even on St Patrick's day.

You also don't want anything left over. NOTHING, because just as gross as it was on the 16th, it was gross again on the 18th.

Jesus, after selling our last store in 2005, that image is still giving me PTSD.

BmanUltima's car still hasn't been fixed yet, he'll get on it tomorrow, honest. > PNW Hoon 03/17/2015 at 12:54

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Hash, or hash browns?

PNW Hoon > BmanUltima's car still hasn't been fixed yet, he'll get on it tomorrow, honest. 03/17/2015 at 12:59

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Corned beef hash.

I have no idea if it's actually an Irish traditional breakfast food, but in my head it definitely is so I was slightly disappointed with my stale green bagel.

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > McMike 03/17/2015 at 13:07

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The bagels in your picture look tastier.

McMike > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 03/17/2015 at 13:37

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It was hard to find a photo of a decent green bagel online. Those were at least water bagels, but I would give them a B-. some are out of shape, weren't stretched when they came out of the former. The proofing and color look pretty good.

Since I'm at it...

The ones in your post were not water bagels. They were a little over proofed, and the oven could be a little hotter. I'm guessing it was 350-400 degrees. Shade of green was good.

C

These are old. Look at those blisters. So many stores sell them this way that people think it's acceptable. They mixed too much product, and couldn't sell it in time.

These have been in the fridge for 3-4 days. They still taste fine, but it always makes me wonder what other production issues they might have. Shade of green is good. They look a little overproofed, but the shape is pretty good.

C+

These are old and underproofed, and I hope they are on their way to the garbage. They should have never gone in the oven, as they were and overproofed, shitty mess before they went in. Oven also is not hot enough, but that's what you get with non-water bagels.

F

These are water bagels, and the proofing and the forming are pretty good. Shade of green could be a little darker, but these look good.

B+

This one is the best one I could find. Water, texture, weight, shape. Not bad. Color is great.

A

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > McMike 03/17/2015 at 13:53

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Our bagels (from Einsteins) are pretty subpar in general, but they're paid for by someone else, so I can't complain. Thanks for the green bagel gallery. That last one does indeed look delicious.

McMike > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 03/17/2015 at 14:07

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Einsteins.. (grumble)

Those guys came into the DC area in the late 90s and opened a store right across the street from just about every one of our locations. Right across the fucking street. Took at least 20% right out of us.

Water-injected-steam-oven, frozen product using, subpar, lazy sons of bitches. All the stores were corporate-backed, so while we did more volume, they lived under the safety net of cooperate.

Guess what parenting company ended up buying our little parenting company(we were nine store franchise of a 150 store national footprint)?

New World Restaurant Group, that's who. They're the same people who started Einstein's. Our royalties went straight to them.

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > McMike 03/17/2015 at 14:22

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Ouch. Yeah, they bought our previous bagel supplier too.